I originally wrote this for the back page of The Crack Magazine (hi Helen!) sometime last summer, but a series of events caused it to disappear for a while. I just remembered where I had a copy, and decided to put it up. Back when I wrote this, Tesco had just taken over the Chillingham Road site, Obama was still new and shiny, and I lived in Newcastle… the past: it’s kind of like another country, but harder to get to.
As living beings, we’re defined by certain natural urges. We need to breath, sleep, move, reproduce, and eat. Now Tesco’s have seen fit to help us out with eating in Heaton, taking over the role of local supermarket from what used to be Somerfield’s in Chillingham Road.
Somerfield was notoriously expensive, and Tesco’s are only continuing the trend, with prices raised so high you’ll find confused students wandering the store looking at the cost of pesto. On the day I visited, a can of beans and sausages was selling for over a pound, and it was hard to find a loaf of bread that wasn’t stuffed with some sort of seed. Also, I was deeply disappointed to note that they didn’t sell pop tarts.
Despite the fact that it’s always cheaper to shop at either of the two supermarkets within twenty minutes walk, this branch of Tesco’s is always busy. Most of the people shopping here have just been caught on the hop, short of those few bits and bobs we all need but forget to pick up when doing the weekly ‘big shop’, but there is the odd lazy bugger stocking up on frozen lasagne and beer.
Between the two markets of last-minute need and easy-living slackers, Tesco will be raking in the cash at this new site, but anybody living locally is going to find it more costly to do their shopping here.
